Posts by Jo Ilfeld, PhD
How to Properly Honor A Valued Colleague As They Leave
This article on how to honor a colleague when they leave was first published by Forbes When my second son left for college last summer, it was tough. Unlike my own big brother (sorry, big bro) who gave my mom the worst summer she’d ever had as he fought for his independence and separation before…
Read MoreRethinking “It’s Just Who I Am”
“It’s just who I am.” If you’ve been listening to my learning snacks or reading my blogs, you’ve probably heard me rail against the sentence. I just don’t like it because it limits growth and flexibility. I was discussing this phrase with a leadership client of mine and I came to realize that there’s another…
Read MorePay It Forward: The Hidden Value of Accepting Help
Do you hesitate when accepting help at work because you fear being indebted to someone? Don’t worry, most of us feel that way. Recently, I was attending one of my colleague groups where we discussed the issue of accepting help, and how reluctant we are to accept it because we’re not sure what the giver…
Read MoreOwn Your Narrative
Have you ever found yourself creating a story around someone else’s behavior? For instance, you’re sitting in a meeting waiting and waiting and your manager comes on 15 minutes late and just gets started with the meeting. You might, in your head, have a story about the fact that they don’t respect your time, or…
Read MoreAre You Rewarding Bad Behavior?
I received some advice recently from my dog trainer after I shared my frustrations about one of the things that my puppy does that annoys me. The trainer pointed out that my puppy kept engaging in certain behaviors because, unknowingly, I was rewarding him with attention. This got me thinking about how it translates to…
Read MoreMaking Decisions: Focus on What Matters
When making decisions, it’s easy to get distracted by factors that seem appealing but don’t really matter. Recently, I was forced to choose new headphones after mine were stolen while traveling. Now, admittedly, this is a bummer. However, there were some things about these headphones that I didn’t really like, Primarily that on longer flights…
Read MoreHere’s Why You Should Celebrate Endings
Endings are a natural part of life, but how often do we actually take the time to celebrate them? I’ve been giving some thought to this lately because my son recently graduated and I finished up a course I had been taking for the last few months. Colleges are amazing at celebrating endings—think of the…
Read MoreView from the Top: Is It Really Worth It?
Recently, I was running in one of my favorite places in the world, Carmel by the Sea, California. And upon my run, I came to Carmel River Beach. Now, this is a beautiful beach on the outskirts of Carmel and the second most popular beach in Carmel. As you can see from my selfie of me on Carmel River…
Read MoreIt’s NOT All About the Money
If someone is getting paid for a job, shouldn’t they want to do what you’re requesting? I often hear from clients, “I’m paying them to do this job. Why do I need to be nice to them? Why do I need to figure out what motivates them?” Here’s the reality: Most people, probably including yourself,…
Read MoreStepping Up: 3 Tools for Navigating New Challenges
This article was first shared in Forbes. Recently one of my former clients, Rena, contacted me both excited and pensive. She had just been offered a big new senior role and she wanted my help to “hit the ground running without being intimidated.” Rena is not alone. Many of my clients are also undertaking big…
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