Posts by Jo Ilfeld, PhD
Own Your Narrative
Have you ever found yourself creating a story around someone else’s behavior? For instance, you’re sitting in a meeting waiting and waiting and your manager comes on 15 minutes late and just gets started with the meeting. You might, in your head, have a story about the fact that they don’t respect your time, or…
Read MoreAre You Rewarding Bad Behavior?
I received some advice recently from my dog trainer after I shared my frustrations about one of the things that my puppy does that annoys me. The trainer pointed out that my puppy kept engaging in certain behaviors because, unknowingly, I was rewarding him with attention. This got me thinking about how it translates to…
Read MoreMaking Decisions: Focus on What Matters
When making decisions, it’s easy to get distracted by factors that seem appealing but don’t really matter. Recently, I was forced to choose new headphones after mine were stolen while traveling. Now, admittedly, this is a bummer. However, there were some things about these headphones that I didn’t really like, Primarily that on longer flights…
Read MoreHere’s Why You Should Celebrate Endings
Endings are a natural part of life, but how often do we actually take the time to celebrate them? I’ve been giving some thought to this lately because my son recently graduated and I finished up a course I had been taking for the last few months. Colleges are amazing at celebrating endings—think of the…
Read MoreView from the Top: Is It Really Worth It?
Recently, I was running in one of my favorite places in the world, Carmel by the Sea, California. And upon my run, I came to Carmel River Beach. Now, this is a beautiful beach on the outskirts of Carmel and the second most popular beach in Carmel. As you can see from my selfie of me on Carmel River…
Read MoreIt’s NOT All About the Money
If someone is getting paid for a job, shouldn’t they want to do what you’re requesting? I often hear from clients, “I’m paying them to do this job. Why do I need to be nice to them? Why do I need to figure out what motivates them?” Here’s the reality: Most people, probably including yourself,…
Read MoreStepping Up: 3 Tools for Navigating New Challenges
This article was first shared in Forbes. Recently one of my former clients, Rena, contacted me both excited and pensive. She had just been offered a big new senior role and she wanted my help to “hit the ground running without being intimidated.” Rena is not alone. Many of my clients are also undertaking big…
Read MoreIf You Get Anxious Right before a Meeting Try This
I recently read Charles Duhigg’s new book, Supercommunicators. Being a fan of his work, I wanted to share an insightful tip he mentioned in an HBR article about what you can do if you get anxious right before a meeting. If you have a meeting with someone that you’re excited about, anxious about, or nervous…
Read MoreStop Thinking This Is a Waste of Your Time
What’s your attitude when you need to talk to someone during the workday? Do you think it’s a waste of your time? I had a great conversation with a client the other week. She had a realization that I just had to pass on. She mentioned how she often wants to quickly get things done…
Read MoreThree Obstacles Blocking Progress on Your Goals
We’re at the mid-point of the year. If you’re like 91% of Americans, you haven’t thought about your New Year’s Resolutions in months – unless it’s to lament how quickly you gave them up. In my hall of shame, I resolved to read a chapter a day of War And Peace – 361 chapters –…
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